I See the Moon & the Moon Sees Me

  I keep not blogging because my thoughts over the past week are all heavier than I've been able to muster the energy to sift through appropriately. The corner of the world I live in has been significantly sadder, and it takes time for me to form coherent thoughts during times like these. I'm almost there, though. Hopefully the next few days will afford me the time and mental energy to get some of those thoughts out.

  But, tonight ... the moon. On the way home from the jr. high/ high school worship night we attend once a month, Liam suddenly noticed the bright, nearly full moon shining in his car window. "Mommy! Moon!", he exclaimed. The bright moon was lighting the sky, in bits and pieces, as the swiftly moving dark clouds blew past. It was 8:00 and the quiet, country roads near our home were empty, so I slowed the car to a stop, right there in the middle of the road, and we watched as the moon played peekaboo with us. "Moon? W'ah you? (translation: where are you?)" he would say, every time a large cloud bank moved in to obscure the light.

  When we finally pulled into our garage I took him out of his car seat and we walked out onto the windy driveway so we could see over the roof line of our house to the place the moon continued his game. Liam giggled in anticipation when the darkness started to thin and he could see the brightness growing. His giggles turned into squeals and shouts of "Moon! Moon!" when the full face was finally visible again.

  Yes, there has been sadness. Unimaginable pain and loss has struck the lives of some people I care for deeply in the past week. But tonight, the moon and the joy of peekaboo reminded me that even though it is sometimes hard to see the light, and we wonder where it has gone, the darkness is fleeting. The Light remains, shining on.

You can read more about the sadness from those who are walking through it:
Melissa's blog
Savannah's blog

Chasing Trucks

  For some wives it's the opening day of duck/deer/dove/fill-in-the-blank hunting season that signifies the beginning of their husbands' period of intermittent extended absences from the home. For coaches' wives it's the beginning of whatever sports season their husbands participate in. For wives of men in student ministry, it's the beginning of nice weather.

  This weekend kicks off Josh's busiest season: middle school retreat, jr. high spring break trip, men's Colorado trip,  high school discipleship training trip ... it all takes place between now and the beginning of July (coincidentally, when our next child is due to arrive). It continues to be pretty busy until September when the fall semester has gotten underway, but the bulk of activity is scheduled for the next 4 months. Gratefully, both of our families are nearby, so when I need a break or just another adult around the house, I have plenty of options. Unfortunately, I sense that in the coming months some of them may wish that they didn't live so close, as being the pregnant mother of a very active toddler makes me feel a bit needier than usual.

This pic has nothing to do with this post, but I love it.

 Tonight I was considering calling up my parents to see what they had planned for dinner, with hopes of taking Liam over to their house and having some extra hands and eyes to keep up with him for a couple of hours (especially since he was awake from 12:30-2:45 this morning, so I'm pretty tired - and he & I have both been struggling to get over a nasty cold for the past week). However, my grown-up judgment kicked in and I realized that tonight was a night I needed to be a parent, instead of calling mine so that I could be parented. I decided that this afternoon and evening needed to be all about Liam. No projects, no house-cleaning, no me trying to find entertainment or company for myself. And, it was fantastic.

  When Liam woke up from an extra long nap I told him we were going to go to TCBY for a frozen yogurt date. Just as we got loaded up in the car, he heard one of his favorite noises in the world - the sound of a sanitation truck headed our way. So, I got him back out of his carseat and we sat on the driveway and watched as the recycling truck lifted and dumped every recycling bin on our street. At TCBY we ended up eating yogurt coated in sprinkles, mini reece's, blueberries, "balls" (popping boba), and two "cookies" (iced animal crackers); because Liam chose our treat. The rest of the afternoon/evening involved carrying him on my shoulders for the length of our trip through the grocery store (in which he actually reminded me that I needed eggs when I got to the checkout line & hadn't picked them up yet!), "chasing" a concrete mixer truck (when he realized we were driving behind one on our way home he started squealing and yelling, "chase! chase!", so we took a detour & followed the truck until it pulled into a gated neighborhood), eating macaroni & cheese and tomato soup for dinner (his favorites), and cuddling on the couch to watch Cars 2 (until he got bored and wanted to watch Clifford, instead) and eat popcorn.

  Even though Liam and I spend most of our time most days together, I usually have some other agenda steering our time. Stuff I need to get done, places we need to get to, etc. These are necessary things, and I definitely don't think that it would be healthy or feasible for my 21 month old's preferences to dictate our lives. However, tonight it was so fun to just go with the flow and do exactly what he wanted. It was sweet to watch his eyes light up as we poured the candy he wanted on the yogurt and to hear him giggle when we chased the concrete mixer. It filled my heart to hear him exclaim, "Mater funny!" as he watched a Cars movie for the first time, and then to hear him ask for "Cifford" instead, because he loves saying the names of all the characters as they interact.

  I know this is a really long, detailed post; but I guess I just wanted to record it all to remind myself that it is up to me what these crazy next few months will be like. I can either feel bummed about all the busyness and focus on figuring out who is going to be taking care of me in my husband's absence; or I can be grateful for some extra days to give 100% of my attention to my little man, before his little sister enters our lives with all of her own needs and preferences. I really want to choose the latter - it seems like it will be much more fun for both Liam and me. Here's to a spring of being a giant pregnant lady chasing trucks.

Note: This post could make it seem like I dread this time of busyness in Josh's schedule. I don't. I love his job and really don't mind the crazy spring/summer schedule; but this year it does seem a little more overwhelming than usual due to all the pregnancy & toddler-ness around our home.

Cora's Room: The Projects

  On Monday, I will be 22 weeks pregnant. This means I probably have somewhere between approximately 16-19 weeks to get Liam's big boy room ready, prepare Cora's nursery, transition Liam to his new room & big boy bed (and hopefully off of his pacifier), and celebrate his second birthday in May. This is potentially a little overwhelming, but also exciting. Today I started making my lists of what needs to be done for each of the rooms and I can't wait to see them come together! I thought I'd share a few of the sewing projects I'll be working on for Cora's nursery.

  So far I've spent the most time working on this sweet crewel embroidery alphabet sampler.

Daisychain ABCs

  Well, hopefully that's what it will end up looking like. I'm embroidering mine on a lighter colored fabric and substituting the bright pink yarn for more of a coral color so that it will be a better match for our color scheme. Also, I haven't really embroidered anything before, so I'm learning as I go (a common theme in the projects I undertake). Hopefully it will turn out somewhat close to the original.

This has been really fun to work on, and since I can get a letter done in a day or two, there's a happy amount of instant gratification as each letter pops to life.

  Another project that will be pretty time-consuming is making Cora's bedding. I'm SO glad that I figured out how to quilt last year, so that I can make this beauty for my little girl.

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  I saw this quilt on Pinterest just before I found out I was pregnant, and as soon as I found out we are having a girl, I knew I'd be making it. Gratefully, my mom has offered to help me out with this one, as it involves a ton of cutting and sewing circles. I feel a little less overwhelmed knowing I don't have to complete the whole thing on my own. I really need to get to work on collecting the fabrics I'm going to use on this quilt - so far I only have these two that I picked up from the clearance bin at our local quilting shop (along with the really cute lamp I picked up for $13 from a baby boutique that was having a big moving sale).

  I also plan on sewing a bumper for the crib, and while I'm not committed enough to a fabric to have ordered one yet, this Modern Meadow Poppy from Sandi Henderson's Secret Garden line is a front runner.

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The last big sewing project we have (and I say we, because this is another one I'll be relying heavily on my mom to help out with) is recovering the cushions on the glider & ottoman. I think we'll be using this gorgeous Dandelion fabric from Joel Dewberry's Heirloom line.

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  I LOVE Joel Dewberry's fabrics and used a beautiful print from his Aviary line a few years ago for our living room curtains. You should check him out if you're needing to order fabric anytime soon.

  So, here's hoping I'm super productive in the coming months. You know, so I can also tackle all the furniture painting and stuff for Liam's room that I want to do. And, if I'm not, I think we'll all survive ... perhaps just not as adorably as I'd like.

Rend Your Hearts

  Over the past month, I have been more aware of the approaching Lenten season than usual. Although I did not grow up observing this season, as an adult, I have participated by fasting about 50% of the time. I think it is a wonderful way to prepare my heart and mind for the celebration of Jesus' sacrifice and resurrection, and I appreciate how it aids in creating anticipation and gratefulness.This year I've chosen to make a few adjustments during Lent with the purpose of filling my mind with God's truths more than with the opinions and thoughts of others.
  In an attempt to give myself a little direction in this endeavor I spent some time in between clients this morning searching for liturgical reading guides to accompany the Lenten season. Since our church doesn't observe many of the practices that accompany the traditional church calendar, I thought it would be neat to learn more about which particular Scriptures and ideas other denominations are meditating on during this time. When I found a website called "The Text This Week", I felt like I had stumbled onto a treasure trove of resources that will provide me with exactly what I was looking for. Basically, the site is maintained by a woman who has studied church history and Biblical studies and is interested in providing tools to aid people across denominations in their studies, as they relate to the Revised Common Lectionary cycle, which many liturgical denominations follow.  She states:

"The purpose of this website is to provide links to resources for study, reflection and liturgy which correspond to the RCL readings you may be using for study, teaching & preaching."

  I haven't had time to do much exploring, but the few articles and commentaries that I have followed links to have been encouraging. If any of you are looking to either understand this season and its traditions a little more, or just looking for good resources to deepen your devotional life during this time, I would highly recommend that you check out her site. Just be prepared to be a little overwhelmed - there's a lot there.

  As the end of this Ash Wednesday is drawing near, I am trying to keep my heart focused on the message of Joel 2 (one of the Scriptures commonly read in both Catholic and Methodist churches on Ash Wednesday). I particularly love verse 13:

 "Rend your heart
   and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
   for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
   and he relents from sending calamity."

   I pray that my focus during this season would be on allowing God to rend my heart and change my inner person - not just on outward fasts or symbols that may or may not create any lasting growth. What a beautiful hope that as Easter approaches we have hope that we can always return to our God who is slow to anger and abounding in love!

Her Name, Part 1

  Our little girl has a name. It was our favorite girl name when we were expecting Liam, so most of our close friends heard us toss it around a couple of years ago (because we don't generally keep things like that a secret). It was still our top pick when we found out we were pregnant this time around, but we didn't want to assume we would use it until we knew the baby's gender and had time to re-discuss and pray about it. We've been telling people that it is her name for a week or two now, but it wasn't until Josh sent out a tweet today that included her name that I realized we were to the stage of telling the internet world. Apparently we are.

 So, her name is Cora. Cora ____. There are a couple possible middle names that we love and are having trouble deciding between them, but Cora is definitely her name. I'm not completely sure how Cora became a name we talked about. I have been asked quite a few times in the last couple of weeks if it is a family name, and it is not. I don't know anyone with the name, and until about 8 months ago I didn't personally know of anyone who had used the name for one of their children.

 Part of my reason for loving the name is because it is an older, classic name. I think it fits nicely with Liam (who is actually William), and (at least in my opinion) it sounds precious & adorable as a little girl name, but ages beautifully. I even practiced (out loud ... my husband doesn't know this and will make fun of me when he reads this) what it will sound like when she stands at the altar someday and says, "I Cora, take you ________, as my lawfully wedded husband." It sounded lovely, to me; and that is fitting, because I believe she will be lovely.

  The other reason I love the name so much is because of its meaning. The name Cora is of Greek origin and means, "filled heart". Name meanings are extremely important to me, because I've always felt that the conversations my mom had with me when I was little about the meaning of my name helped form my early identity. I saw myself as crowned, in Christ, and victorious; because that is what my name meant. The name my parents selected for me has been a gift in my life, and I hope my children will feel the same way. I pray that Cora will have a heart that is filled with the abundance of Christ and the Fullness of who He is. Actually, part of the hang-up on choosing her middle name is having difficulty deciding between name meanings ... deciding which meaning I want her to grow up hearing that we hope her heart is full of.

  I let you know when we figure it out.