Thankful 30: Becky

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

(I have missed a couple of days in the past week, 

so some days may have two letters as I get caught up) 

 

 

 

 Dear Becky,

  Happy Birthday! I'm a little bummed that we aren't celebrating your birthday this year by laying out poolside and shopping in Florida like we did last year ... or by being in London together like we were 5 years ago. I guess we can't travel every year for our birthdays, but I wish we could. You are a good travel buddy.

  Although I am thankful that you are a good person to travel with, that's probably the least of my reasons to be grateful for you. Whenever I think of you, the words loyal and dedicated immediately come to mind. In my mind, you exemplify the verse, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn." God's path for your life hasn't included the some of the typical events and timing of many in the Bible belt, but I have watched you continually make the choice to enjoy and love your friends whose lives are in other stages. When a lot of people would complain about feeling left out or being uncomfortable in certain settings, you seem to shrug those things off and enjoy yourself.  Thanks for rejoicing. However, you are also no stranger to mourning. You have walked very close to your friends through some heart-wrenching circumstances. You haven't let the discomfort distance you, but instead have chosen to be a help and comfort through your presence and acts of service. Thank you for mourning.

 

  I'm not totally sure how to say what I'm trying to articulate without sounding awkward ... I guess the heart of the matter is that you aren't just about yourself. People who are about themselves require a lot of work in a friendship. They need lots of affirmation and for others to cater to them. You do not. You are easy to be with because you choose to not be about yourself. You also are not a doormat. I have watched you make tough decisions to maintain the health of your heart. You know what it is to be confident and independent, but you also value relationships and connection. That's a great combination. 

  Thank you, finally, for being a woman who trusts in the Lord with all her heart. It has been such a joy, encouragement, and challenge to watch your relationship with Jesus over the years. You really love Him. You really want to serve Him and please Him and you are willing to let Him change you, stretch you, grow you. I love that you want His plans for your life, and that you are willing to let Him shape your years. I really do look up to your example and hope that I will demonstrate the same kind of faithfulness.

  I am honored to call you friend and blessed by who you are!

Love,

  Stef

 

Thankful 30: Europe

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

(I have missed a couple of days in the past week, 

so some days may have two letters as I get caught up)

Source

Dear Europe,

  Well, I'm almost going to be really cliché and write about how I found myself while backpacking. Is is less cliché if I say I remembered myself while traveling? Eh, either way, the month I spent backpacking around Europe with two of my roommates after I graduated from college made an important impact on my life.

  I was 21 and was very much trying to figure out some things about my life. I had spent nearly 2 years trying to fit a boy into my life, or trying to fit myself into his life. Even though that effort had started to unravel 6 months earlier when we had broken up, I left for my trip thinking that maybe it would still all work out in the end. Europe, you provided a space for my mind and heart. Space for some things I had been ignoring for a long time to crawl out of hiding. You see, in my attempts to make this relationship work, I had started silencing little bits of myself so I would be more compatible with him. It wasn't his fault, he was a nice guy. I hadn't dated someone before, so I guess I just thought ... I don't know what I thought, I just did it. At first it was little stuff, like the music I liked. It's not a big deal to like opposite music, right? It probably isn't, but it is a big deal to never share the things you're excited about when you're dating someone because you don't want to rock the boat or make the other person feel like they don't understand you. Anyway, over time I had started doing the same thing about big stuff: passions and interests that God had put in my heart.

  Thank you, Europe, for providing long, rocking train rides that left me with lots of time for reflection and journaling. Thank you for lovely, scenic landscapes that soothed my heart. Thank you for the opportunity to meet interesting people and have conversations that reminded me that there was great value in those bits of me that I had been hiding. God used that month to tell my heart that He had created me to be who I am for a reason; and that at the right time, the right boy would value those things. A month after I got home, I had a moment while I was working in a factory (paying off my trip) when I suddenly knew who that boy would be. Five months later we started dating. A year and a half after that, I became his wife.

  Europe, thanks for being beautiful and different. Thanks for reminding me that God made me that way, too. You helped me to be ready for the boy who thinks my particular brand of different is beautiful.

 -Stefanie

Thankful 30: Ally Wiley

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

(I have missed a couple of days in the past week, 

so some days may have two letters as I get caught up) 

Dear Ally,

  I first really got to know you when you moved to Siloam after you and Tim got married, during my junior year of college. I admired you and looked up to you instantly. You and Tim were some of the first newlyweds that I really spent time with, and I am so thankful I was blessed to have you influence many of my ideas about life after the wedding. Thank you so much for the time you spent, weekly, with my roommates and me. I know we all so looked forward to sitting down with you and talking about our relationships and what God was teaching us. 

  Thank you for your example of trust in the Lord when Tim was deployed to Iraq right after the war started, when you had only been married for 3 months. The emails you sent out during his time overseas showed such faith and courage.

  Thank you for teaching me to embrace the different seasons in life. I don't remember if you talked about seasons a lot, or if it just really impacted me when you did; but I do know that the grace and contentment you have displayed as I have watched you walk through a few different seasons of life has taught me so much. I often remind myself to just relax and enjoy this season that I'm in ... to cuddle instead of mopping the floors or to not care so much if everyone is having a fussy day. It's a precious, exhausting season and I am so blessed to get to have it at all. Maybe I don't leave my house much, and maybe my house is a lot messier than I'd prefer, but that's okay. Those things tend to come with this season and I want to swallow it whole. Thank you for teaching me about that.

  The other major way your influence has impacted me is in teaching me to find romance in the ordinary. You have a way of experiencing and describing events that seem commonplace as rich and full of meaning. You and Tim have been blessed with an incredible story and a wonderful life together, but I appreciate so much the sparkle in your eyes and joy in your voice as you would describe something simple like a dinner of tilapia and rice in your kitchen on a Monday night. Does that make sense? Your attitude is not one of grumbling or complaining, but gratitude. It taught me that the rosy, romantic, heart-swelling experiences of life are not limited to grand gestures and flowery words and big gifts. Rather, in you I saw that if I would just keep my eyes open and look for those moments of wonder in the circumstances God provides, I would find them.

  Thank you for being a precious mentor and friend. I love you!

Love,

  Stef

Thankful 30: Emily

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

To My Dearest, Oldest Friend,

  Over the years, that has become my title for you, Em. We've been friends for a little over 23 years now - I know that because your 8th birthday party was the first party of yours I was invited to, and today you turned 31. Happy Birthday! (And please don't be mad at me for disclosing your age on the internet!) In many ways, you are more like family than a friend. I know this is going to sound incredibly cheesy and Hallmark-y, but anytime I think of you, it is as much with my heart as it is with my head. Years and years of friendship and memories has carved a deep place for you.

  Thank you for saying, "I want to sleep next to her!" at your second (third?) cousins birthday party, where we met. I was such a shy 6-year-old (woah ... can you believe your son is almost as old as I was when we met?) and I can still clearly remember anxiously sitting at the table while the other sleepover attendees were vying for sleeping bag spots near the birthday girl that night. Jenny was the only one I knew, and I wasn't the type (back then) to speak up and try to make new friends. I was so surprised and relieved when you pointed to me and announced that you'd be putting your sleeping bag next to mine. And the rest, is history.

  Thank you for being one of the most fun people I have ever known. Our imaginations ran wild together, and I am so thankful that I had a friend who just loved to play. Endless hours of American Girl dolls and Barbies filled our childhood ... I can't imagine growing up without you. I can still picture us struggling under the weight of all of our stuff that we would tote back and forth between our homes nearly every weekend. We created whole worlds for our dolls and then disassembled them, only to make something new a week or two later. I remember silly trampoline games we made up and the times we would get in trouble for throwing tennis balls at your parents' fan so we could watch them ricochet around the room. Riding our bikes between our houses, or sometimes downtown to Poor Richard's for some candy or a soda. Making up stories about what we would tell our other friends we were doing if they called when we were together playing dolls (when they had all outgrown dolls, but we hadn't). Visiting your Grandaddy & Grandmomma with you (because I loved them like they were my own).  Writing each other letters when we were apart for a couple of weeks in the summer because we missed each other so much. Laughing so, so hard. Babysitting together. Listening on another phone when you talked to boys you liked (because I was always petrified of boys and you were always boy crazy). Crying when I had to move away. Jumping up and down and hugging 4 years later, when we realized we had decided to go to the same college and could room together. Watching Martha Stewart in our dorm room between classes. Going on a couple double dates with you and your future husband. Being in your wedding, and a few years later, you being in mine. Getting to hold your first baby in the hospital - he was so tiny. Being pregnant together with your second and my first. You coming to the hospital to hold my second baby - she was so big.

  You are part of the fabric of who I am. With some of these letters I have been writing it has been easy to say, "here is the lesson you taught me," or, "this is what you've meant to me," because the touch on my life from some individuals was brief enough that it is easy to identify the impact. Your friendship has been more like a bass line - always there, a vital constant in the background. Thank you for being a faithful and loyal friend. Thank you for teaching me to be more outgoing when we were young. Thank you for being kind-hearted and not gossipy. Thank you for not being afraid to ask questions or to say what you think. Thank you for being a wonderful example of loving your kiddos so much, but also being real about things that are hard. Thank you for being so amazing at so many things. I admire your eye for color and beauty and fashion so much. Making things lovely just seems to come naturally to you.

  Thank you for always making my life lovelier.

Love,

  Stef

Thankful 30: Dr. Habermas

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

(I have missed a couple of days in the past week, 

so some days may have two letters as I get caught up) 

Dear Dr. Habermas,

  At some point in high school I remember that it would be wonderful to learn the way old paintings portray ancient Greeks learning. Students, disciples, sitting at the feet of the teacher and learning through conversation. I know there is an actual painting I'm thinking of, and I know there is an actual term for that style of learning. I would sound a lot more intelligent if I could think of either, but I have the brain of a mom of two tiny people, so I'll just hope you get the general idea of what I'm trying to describe. Anyway, I never expected that I would get to have that type of an experience, but in your classes, I did.

  Thank you for being a little unconventional in the way you taught. I know I did write papers for your classes, and maybe we took tests? Maybe not tests. What I really remember were the conversations. I remember that we chewed on topics that couldn't be absorbed through multiple choice questions or bullets on a Powerpoint. Thank you for bringing us topics and Scripture and then giving us the space to work it over in our own minds and to hear one another's thoughts. Thank you for having us share homemade pies and bread and memories and questions. For having a box of tissue that traveled around the u-shaped tables for times when the processing hit an especially sensitive nerve for someone. I can't speak for all of your students, but I think those experiences are why I remember your classes so vividly ... why the lessons you taught became a part of the way I think, instead of just facts to remember.

  Thank you for your prayers and advice during some years of big and weighty decisions. Thanks for your encouragement. Thank you for the time you told your students that the two most important qualities you hoped for in your daughters' husbands were that they would love Jesus and that they would be kind men. I still think of that all the time as I watch the kindness of my husband toward others. I count it a privilege to have been one of your students.

Thankful for your influence,

  Stefanie

Thankful 30: Steve Beers

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

(I have missed a couple of days in the past week, 

so some days may have two letters as I get caught up) 

Dear Steve,

  I loved the open office doors of the faculty members at JBU. I know I could have made great friends and could have received a decent education at a lot of universities, but one of the things that I believe is a distinctive of JBU is the involvement of faculty in the lives of the students. Thank you for the role you have played at the school for the past 14 years. Thank you for expressing warmth and kindness even though your role often calls on you to act as a disciplinarian.

  My years at JBU landed me in your office a number of times, as I sought your guidance on how to handle some tough issues. Being in a student leadership role was always a blessing, but it came with a price. At a university that maintains a few restrictions in order to encourage students to make life-giving choices, it was sometimes very difficult to be in leadership positions. Both as an R.A. my sophomore year, and then in working with student ministries the next two years, I found myself in positions numerous times where I felt I was walking a tightrope. If I fell to one side, I would jeopardize my own integrity and trustworthiness. If I fell to the other side, I would lose friendships. Whether or not you realized it, you helped me walk that line. You helped coach me through some grace AND truth situations, when I could only see how to apply either/or. Thank you for helping students navigate such uncomfortable and vital lessons in discipleship.

  Thank you also for speaking encouragement over me. I will never forget a conversation we had my junior year. I was emotionally exhausted and so discouraged from a situation I was dealing with that affected me both personally and in my role with the small group ministry on campus. I remember that after we talked through the action plan of what steps I needed to take, you told me that I reminded you of Lucy, from the Chronicles of Narnia. You said that you saw me as a person God had equipped to come alongside others after the battle to help tend to their wounds. I know the Holy Spirit was speaking through you when you said those words to me, because they resonated so deeply in my heart. Your words helped fortify me during a weary season. They helped shape my identity. When I decided to pursue my Master's degree in counseling, I thought of your words and counseling made sense. I have prayed many times that God might use words of mine to provide the same seeds of truth in the life of others.

  Thank you so much for being a faithful steward of the influence God has given you.

Always Grateful,

  Stefanie

Thankful 30: My Girls

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Dear Kayla, Corie, Allison, Danielle, Alana, Kevie, Crystal, Maryanne, Jess, Damaris, Lauren, & Leah,

  Thank you, you beautiful ladies, for the amazing role you have played in my life. A couple of you I used to babysit when you were very small, but most of you I got to know when you were in 8th grade and I started leading your cell group (or later in high school, whenever you started attending the group). First off, let me say that I love every one of you so much and I am so proud of each of you. I know that saying I'm proud of you makes it sound like I think I'm way older than you, which I don't. Most of y'all are in the old married woman club with me now :) I just say I'm proud of you because I've had the opportunity to watch you go from being awkward and awesome jr. high students to the lovely women you are now.

  Thank you for letting me be part of your lives for the 6 years we were together as a group. Thank you for showing up and for wanting to know more of God and for wanting to find a safe place to belong. I always felt that we all fit together as a little family so well - with all my heart, I hope you did too. Thank you for being a measure of accountability in my life. I had a deep desire to lead you with integrity, so I wanted to be able to answer to you honestly about any part of my life without shame. I viewed dozens of decisions I made in college through that lens. Movies I watched, dating relationships, various other lifestyle choices ... I wanted all of those things to set a godly example. I definitely wasn't perfect and I definitely didn't share every struggle that I had with you girls; but God used your presence in my life on multiple occasions to help me make healthy and life-giving choices. Thank you so much for that.

  Thank you for giving me a way to serve the Lord when I was in college and grad school. It was so wonderful to have you all in my life during those years to serve as a reminder that my life wasn't just about me. Our relationship brought Paul's letters in the New Testament to life for me. When he wrote about his deep love for the younger believers he was hoping to encourage, and his desire to see them rooted in the deep and wide and high love of Christ, my heart resonated with his words. I earnestly desired those same things for you girls, and I still do. To many of you I may just be the college girl who helped lead your Bible study for a couple of years (nothing wrong with that, by the way), but each of you is permanently knit into my heart.

  Thank you for the role you played in my relationship with my husband. When I brought the boy I dated for a while in college to a high school football game to meet you girls and he didn't make an effort to make conversation with any of you, red flags went up for me. Y'all were so important to me ... I wanted the man I married to know you as people, not just as the Bible study I helped out with. I wanted him to love you and laugh with you and care about your lives. That was actually part of what attracted me to Josh, later on. I knew he understood how important you were to me. I loved that he joked with you and included you in our relationship. I love that you girls were escorted into our wedding by his boys. That wasn't just for show - the place of honor in our wedding was just an indicator of the place of honor you held (and still hold) in our hearts. We love you.

  Finally, thank you for what you have taught me, in retrospect. I started helping lead your group when I was 18. I was 23 when you graduated from high school. I had a lot to learn, and you helped teach me. I pray that there are some things that I did well, that at some points you were able to see the love of Christ in me. However, in the 6 years that have passed since you graduated, I have come to recognize a number of things I wish I had done differently. I wish I had really gotten to know some of you on a deeper level. There are a few of you I knew so well, but others I only knew in a large group sort of way. I regret that. I wish I had been better at relating to those of you who didn't have as much in common with me. I stayed in my comfort zone too much. I didn't ask the questions that I thought might have answers I wouldn't know what to do with. I didn't have much experience with pain, suffering, and hard questions about God, so I tended to avoid those things. If I could do it all over again I would say, "Let's be real," and, "God loves you no matter what is going on, and so do I," and, "I want you to say what's in your heart, not what you think a church girl should say." Maybe I said those things sometimes, but I wish I had said them more. Gratefully, I know that I was just one teensy part of God's plan for your lives and I pray that my weaknesses haven't served as stumbling blocks for any of you. I am just honored to have been with you.

  Thank you for all you've been to me. I love you dearly!

Love,

  Stef

Thankful 30: Dr. Vila & Dr. Castleman

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Source

Source

Dear Dr. Vila & Dr. Castleman,

  I owe both of you a huge debt of gratitude for the way you fostered a deeper love of Scripture in my life. Your classes were some of my very favorites in undergrad, and some of the most memorable.  I remember being nervous that studying the Bible in a college classroom setting would be too sterile and would somehow make me less interested in it. I don't know why I was worried about this ... some jaded person probably told me it happened to them or someone they knew. I should not have been concerned. Your classes had completely the opposite effect on me. I grew to love God's Word more and more as you both taught me to dig deeper into its complexities.

  Dr. Vila, I never knew I could love the Old Testament so much until you taught me to. I remember being captivated by the book of Numbers in one of your classes. Numbers! Who would have thought? Your wealth of knowledge of archeology and ancient history brought the Old Testament stories and laws to life. Thank you so much for devoting your career to uncovering old truths and making them accessible to young minds. I have the utmost respect for you.

  Dr. Castleman, thank you for being a challenging professor. Thank you for your great love for the Bible and your great love for the mind. I often think of you quoting whomever it was who said that Scripture is "shallow enough for a child to wade in, and deep enough that a scholar could never plumb its depths," or something to that extent. You invited your students to swim in the deep end (or maybe you just pushed us in). Thank you for being so motivating and for asking for excellence. Thank you for teaching us to sink our teeth in.

  Both of you do such a beautiful job of helping students learn to really love God with their minds. Your influence in my life lit a fire in my heart and mind and nurtured a deep love for the depths of the riches of the wisdom of God. Even as I write this letter to you, I feel my pulse quicken from thinking of excitement of discovery. What an awesome ministry the two of you have. You are heroes of mine.

Thank you, thank you,

  Stefanie

Thankful 30: Loneliness

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Source

Dear Loneliness,

  You creep into every life from time to time. Sometimes you are a brief visitor: popping in for a weekend stay or even just an afternoon call. Other times you bring your luggage and settle in for an extended visit. You have paid me such a visit a few times. Notably, the first couple of years I lived in Kansas City and then the first semester of my sophomore year.

  I thank you for these periods of sadness and discomfort because they have served to drive my heart further into the heart of Jesus. Our culture is a noisy one. It is so easy to be constantly entertained and surrounded by people. Loneliness, you have a way of plucking people out of their routine and forcing them to choose how they are going to deal with you. Although there have been plenty of times when I have tried to avoid you or drown you out (which is never a healthy choice), by the grace of God I have learned to sit with you when you come. I have learned that you cannot come calling unless God grants you access, so even though I never invite you, I trust the One who does.

  Thank you for the silence you bring. In the times when I have stopped complaining and whining, I have been able to hear His loving whisper so much more clearly than I normally would. Thank you for the way your barrenness proves His abundance and faithfulness all the more. I vividly remember feeling, during my sophomore year of college, that I had entered into a dry and empty desert. My heart felt so parched and isolated. As I looked around the emptiness, though, I saw Him. I found that Jesus wasn't pushing me into the desert or leaving me there alone. He was waiting for me in it. Loneliness, I am thankful that even you cannot separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

  Thank you for the way you allow the Holy Spirit to minister to people in ways they normally wouldn't notice. I remember falling asleep almost every night during some tough months, alone in my dark dorm room, listening to a live recording of a Waterdeep concert. In those quiet hours, as Don and Lori Chaffer sang over me and their rainstick lulled me to sleep, I felt Jesus in my room with me. It was probably the most tangible His presence has been in my life. Even though I would have given anything at that point to just fast-forward my life to a happier place, I look back on that period of time with great fondness and gratitude. Loneliness, without you I would not have known that I was not alone.

Thank you,
  Stefanie

Thankful 30: Kristina

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

 

Dear Kristina,

  I stole this picture from one of your Facebook albums ... hope you don't mind. It makes me smile to see us getting ready for your wedding. Also, since I posted a ton of pictures of us in this post that I wrote back in April about our friendship, I wanted to mix it up a little with a non-posed shot.

  Do you remember during college when we'd always say to one another, "but that would be easy, wouldn't it?" That's what I think of when I think of the impact your friendship has made on my life. I think of all the times we talked about how we wished things would go or what we wanted to do, but then challenged each other to take the higher road. I think of working through tough issues and wrestling with big ideas together. College is so wonderful and so tumultuous at the same time. Those years are so much about decision-making ... being out from under parents' roofs and starting to figure out how to be on your own. Who to spend time with, how to have fun, how to maintain grades, who to become. I think that you, more than anyone else during those years, journeyed with me over that rocky terrain.

  Thank you for deep conversations, and for hard conversations. Thank you for the way your questions made me examine my own heart and relationship with the Lord. Thank you for being the other half of one of the most honest friendships I've experienced. The way we interacted with each other and dealt with conflict resolution helped prepare me for marriage. I know what I've written so far makes it sound like we have had a super serious friendship, but that is only one facet of it.

  Thank you for being my co-rugby-super-fan. I can't imagine what I would have done with all my time in college if you and I hadn't driven all over the country to watch our friends in rugby tournaments. Thank you for being one of my most creative friends and for all the fun we had with our silly talk show study sessions and sitting on the floor of dorm rooms or our duplex making collages or cards. I love remembering sitting in our room (or should I say, rooms ... we lived together in 4 different ones over the years) and journaling endlessly. I loved our silent retreats we took a few times, when we stayed in that little prayer cabin in the woods. Thank you for being so much fun to travel with - whether it was a 4 day road trip to New York (seriously, what where we thinking?) or our month-long adventure through Europe, we always had such a great time.

  Thank you for being the most constant friend throughout college and grad school, and for continuing to be a friend now. I have loved moving through the different stages of life together, and I look forward to our kids being a little bigger so they can play together and we can have a conversation that's longer than 5 minutes once again.

Love you, friend!

  Stef

Thankful 30: Kansas City

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Source

 Dear Kansas City,

  As I have alluded to several times in some of my earlier "Thankful 30" letters, my time spent living on the windswept outskirts of your borders was a tough season of my life. And not just because it was so windy and so flat and there were so few trees, although those things were contributing factors. I have the Ozarks in my blood and you offer corn and wide skies. But I digress. It was hard, as a 13-year-old, to be uprooted from the community I loved and plopped in a place where I knew no one. In my hometown, people trusted me and I had a reputation of being responsible and dependable (at least as much as anyone trusts and depends on a 13-year-old). In this new place, people did not know me or my family. I often felt that my motives or character were in question. I really don't remember ever knowing the feeling of being criticized or viewed with suspicion prior to our move, but I quickly became acquainted with it. It hurt. But you know what, K.C.? I needed a thicker skin. I needed to know that my identity is in Christ alone, not in others' assessment of me. I needed to know that Jesus really is my best friend; and He and I had some sweet times together sitting up in that old wingback chair on the top floor of our house and looking out the window at the yellow field. 

  I am thankful for the independence that I gained during the years I lived in Kansas. I couldn't just go along for the ride with my friends I had always relied on - I had to learn to be more outgoing and to seek out opportunities. I am thankful for the friendships that I gained along the way, particularly Amanda and Amy. Amy wasn't part of the group of friends I spent most of my time with. In fact, she lived nearly an hour away; but if laughter is good medicine, Amy was the Ibuprofen of my heart during high school. Her love for the Lord and contagious laughter were so, so encouraging. She never seemed very concerned with what anyone else thought of her, and was the kind of friend who would send fun letters and notes in the mail. Last year, when I had a very early miscarriage, she was one of the few people who sent a card, even though we rarely communicate anymore. That meant the world to me. Over the course of the four years I lived in K.C., Amanda became the friend that I was with all the time. She always seemed like the anchor of our group of friends, and we spent countless hours hanging out at her house. We were such silly girls, I now realize, but we had such fun together. It has been such a blessing to watch her teenage dreams of marrying her high school sweetheart come true, and to have both had two precious babies who are just a couple of months apart from one another in age. Even though it has been a couple of years since we've seen one another, and talking on the phone is so tough with little people all over the place, social media has made it possible to still feel close to her. Thanks for all of the friendships, Kansas City, but especially those two.

 On a lighter note, thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn how to drive in a city. I have since been grateful many times when I am traveling in other places that congestion and traffic don't bother me much. Northwest Arkansas may be much busier than it once was, but it doesn't provide much in the way of preparation for city driving. Thank you for your art museum, the Plaza, Shakespeare in the park, Theater in the park, the Missouri Repertory Theater, etc. It was so fun to have a high school experience that was infused with arts at a level it could not have been here. I loved it. Thank you for having such a large population of homeschooling families. I would have felt much more like the odd one out as a home-schooled teenager in Northwest Arkansas. 

  Kansas City, thank you for the way you helped grow up my heart. You may have provided some difficult experiences, but it was well worth it.

 - Stefanie

Thankful 30: Camp Barnabas

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Source

Dear Camp Barnabas,

  Wow. When I let my mind start going down the path of reminiscing about you, I am flooded with memories. I don't think any other place conjures up the same intensity of sensory flashbacks. I close my eyes and I can hear the clatter of plates and cups in the dining hall and the stomping and clapping as the birthday rap crew approached some lucky recipient. I can feel the layer of perspiration that was always present; the combination of muggy Missouri summers, open-air cabins, and pushing wheelchairs up and down bumpy paths, making it impossible to ever feel really clean. I see the delighted faces of precious campers when we would have "Barnabas Prom" - the joy as they wore their finest and danced the night away. I smell the hot asphalt and taste the cold popsicles sliding down as the golf cart made its daily deliveries during free time.

  The first time I volunteered was the summer of 1997. I had lived in Kansas City for one year, and I was so anxious to get as much time as possible with my friends and church back in Arkansas, so I came with Fellowship to work as a "barnstormer", working in the kitchen. It was young friends week. The camp was full of children with developmental disabilities, like Down's syndrome and autism. I was hooked. The next summer I came for 2 weeks, 6 the following year, and then I spent 2 summers on staff.

  You were such an important part of those 5 years of my life on so many levels. On the most surface level, you gave me an escape. My high school years weren't the easiest, and you gave me something to look forward to every year. I started looking forward to camp in November of each year. You were a place where I felt like I had purpose and I felt appreciated. Being there was a balm for a teenage heart that felt like it had lost it's place to belong. My friends in Arkansas all still had one another and were making new memories without me. My friends in Kansas had all known one another for years and I was the newcomer. At camp I just felt at home.

  On a deeper level, you taught me about dignity. Thank you for teaching me that all people are created in the image of God, and as such, all people deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. I remember curling girls' hair ... hair that was often cut short because exhausted parents didn't have the energy to let them grow it long; and the excitement they would express over looking pretty. I remember seeing the joyful worship of ones often overlooked and hearing the loud, earnest singing. I remember the big meetings at the beginning of each week when we would learn about the special needs of each camper who would be in our cabins and would offer tips to other counselors who had kids we'd had in the past. "Oh, you have _______! You're gonna love her! She reverses all of her words so they sound backward." I remember hearing the kids (the ones who were able to speak) sharing at the end of the week about how camp had affected them. The kids who said that they got made fun of all year, or felt different than everyone at school. They said that when they came to camp they fit in. They felt at home, just like me.

Thank you,

  Stefanie

Thankful 30: Sam, Derek & MurDog

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Dear Sam, Derek, and Murray,

  
 It's hard for me to believe that I was only technically a student in your ministry for two years. The first two years that y'all were youth pastors at Fellowship I was in 7th and 8th grade. We moved to Kansas City the summer before my 9th grade year, and the next time I was under your leadership was when I came back as a cell group leader my freshman year of college. Those two years were so important in my life, though, and the impact you made helped to carry me through some tougher high school years.

  Sam, the way you communicated to a bunch of rowdy junior high kids made me believe that God had a great plan for me and wanted to use me right then, at that time in my life. Not just later, when I was a grown-up, but as a student. This sort of thinking is so ingrained in the culture of Fellowship now (probably largely because of you) that it seems almost like a silly thing to say; but I don't think it was necessarily the norm back then. You had high expectations of us ... not in a demanding or demeaning way, but in a challenging and motivating way. So many of the teaching illustrations you used have stuck with me and continue to be the automatic way i think about certain passages of Scripture or Biblical concepts. Thanks for being a wonderful teacher and not at all boring.

  Derek, from you I learned so much about what the love of Jesus looks like in action. When I think of you, I think of your enthusiasm and joy, and your ability to get anyone excited about anything. I was so challenged by the way you were so excited about everyone, even the kids that annoyed everyone else. I can think of several occasions (I'm sure there were tons) when you would elevate an unpopular kid to hero status because of how you treated him. What an awesome way to show Jesus to jr. high and high school kids. Thank you, also, for the example you set in serving the Lord as you waited for the Lord to bring you your spouse. I knew my parents didn't really want me to date in high school, and I was fine with that; but the way you spoke about dating relationships (at least for high schoolers) made me feel like maybe I wouldn't be the most uncool person after all if I waited until I was older to date. What a blessing to have leadership that encouraged me to honor my parents' hearts for me and that helped strengthen my confidence in God's plan for me! I will always remember you talking about how amazing your wife was going to be, and I'm so glad you have her and a handsome son, as well. Fellowship will miss you as you follow God into this new adventure.

  Murray, you were so cool. I mean, you still are, but whether you had the ponytail or a bald head with a long goatee, you were just the coolest to all of us. And, you were so funny and such a great musician (also still true). You always made us laugh. I think that, sadly, lots of youth pastors are content to stop there - with being really cool and funny and musically talented - but not you. You were so great at not only being fun and crazy, but also at teaching us how to calm our hearts before the Lord and focus on Him. I loved having you as a worship leader and I still frequently listen to the two live worship recordings that you did. Thank you for teaching us to worship.

  All three of you meant so much to me. After I moved to Kansas City, Mrs. Stephanie Johnson mailed me a picture of all of you hanging on the monkey bars at the church playground. That picture was framed and on my dresser for all four years of high school. It has been neat to get to see the different ways God has continued to use all of you over the years. Thank you for the sacrifices you made (and continue to make) to impact lives!

Love,
  Stefanie

Thankful 30: Happy Birthday, Josh!

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Dear Josh,

  Happy 30th Birthday! These letters are roughly in chronological order, according to when the individual made an impact on my life, but since it's your birthday I wanted to post yours today. So, where do you start in a post thanking a wonderful husband and daddy? I feel a little overwhelmed at the thought and I know I certainly won't do you justice. But, here goes ...

  Thank you for the person you were before we got married. Thank you for your crazy, adventurous self - it was one of the things that attracted me to you. I loved that you spent time hanging out with the high school cell group you led, that you wore Birkenstocks and fleece jackets, that you let your hair grow long, that you climbed mountains in Austria and worked on a ranch in Colorado and loved on orphans in Colombia. The night I first fell for you, you told me all about the book, "Wild at Heart", and that's how I saw you. Thank you for not being dull.

  Thank you for being a great boyfriend. You wooed me with the painting from the coffee shop that you bought me for Valentine's Day after I had mentioned it once. You asked my parents if you could pursue me without me telling you that was important to me. You helped move my super heavy couch into my ridiculously tiny over-a-garage apartment ... and then back out again 4 months later. You laughed with my friends and became friends with the cell group I led. You started saving for a ring when we'd only been dating for a couple of months and then you picked out a beautiful one without ever talking to me about it at all. I was so glad you never asked me one question about rings - I wanted it to be a surprise.

  Thank you for being a wonderful husband. You are a hard worker, both at your job, at extra jobs like working with your dad on the farm, and around our house. It truly feels like we are a team. Thanks for thinking I am funny. That's not my best-known quality (it may not even be one of my qualities), but I love that you think I am. Thank you for making a point of paying cash for big purchases and protecting our family from debt. Thank you for being content to live in a basement for a couple of years and to drive my parents old minivan for a year while we saved for a car. Thank you for all of the wonderful trips we took before we had kiddos: Jamaica, Indonesia, London, the Pacific Northwest ... you are great to travel with. Thank you for praying with me every night and for seeking the Lord in our marriage. Thank you for surrounding yourself with godly men who also love their wives and families. I love your friends and I'm so grateful for who you choose to be influenced by.

  Thank you for being a great and fun 4th, 5th, and 6th grade pastor. I love watching you with students. The middle-school aged students in your ministry, the junior high students in the townhouse you lead, the high school students who serve in 456, and the college students who work for you. You are so fun and funny and encouraging to them. You make everyone feel special and you truly enjoy the kids you work with, and they can tell. Thank you for applying yourself to your study of the Bible and theology. It has been so neat to witness you grow in your knowledge in these areas over the past 6 years. I love learning new things from you.

  Thank you for being a good neighbor to everyone you meet. Without you, I would probably only know a couple of our neighbors instead of nearly all of them. I love that they feel comfortable enough with you that they let their little boys play in our backyard or that they ask you to come dispose of their hamsters when they die. That's a good neighbor. Thank you for being so friendly and easy to talk to. I am frequently challenged by the way you always make time for conversation. I am often too hurried or uncaring, but you consistently communicate to others that you value them. I would like to be more like that. And it isn't just our neighbors ... it's the cashiers in Wal-Mart, the tellers at the bank, Kelly and Louisa at the donut shop, and the guys who make your sandwiches at Firehouse. You show Jesus' love to people you barely know effortlessly.

  I think I want to thank you most of all for being an awesome daddy to our children. They are the most precious gift we've been given, and I am so glad that you are the person God assigned to steward them with me. I love how much you adore them. These are some exhausting years we are in the middle of, but I never doubt your delight in who they are. What a gift. During the times when they need mom-specific attention, you are so great about pitching in in other ways, like washing the dishes. Thank you for taking the initiative in getting us out of the house to make fun memories. Sometimes it is easy for me to get so bogged down in just taking care of the little people and meeting their basic needs that my brain is too tired to cook up plans for fun. I really appreciate that you say, "Let's go __________!" and that you say it often. Our kids are going to have great memories of growing up. Thank you for laughing at them with me daily. Thank you for speaking kind and gentle words, thus teaching our son to speak kind and gentle words. As much as I love hearing his little voice say, "hi lovey!" and as much as it melts my heart when he opens the door to the garage for me or picks me a flower, it means even more to me because I know you taught him that. He will be a wonderful husband and daddy himself one day, largely because of you. Our little girl already hears from you on a daily basis how beautiful and sweet she is, and I'm thankful for that, too. She's going to need you to communicate that to her a lot over the next couple of decades. Thank you for reading Bible stories, praying, and singing with them before bed. That was an important part of my childhood and I am thankful it is a habit in our family. Thank you for thinking that it is important that I only work one day a week while our kids our little, even though it means we live on less. I love being with my babies and taking care of our home.

  For all this and more, I thank you. God was generous when he let me marry you.

Love,
  Your Wife

Thankful 30: Mickey Rapier

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Source

Dear Mickey,

  You weren't my first worship pastor - we didn't start coming to Fellowship until I was in fourth grade - but you were the first worship pastor who really taught me how to worship. The stage that you stood on was always dim ... the atmosphere you created sending the reminder that worship is about Him and not about you. It was under your leadership that I really learned how to focus on Jesus as I sang. I always looked up to you. When I was little, I admired how much you loved God, and I thought it was really cool that a dad could do flips on a trampoline.

  Thank you for the way you and your sweet wife have given your lives to serving the Lord through serving our church for the last couple of decades or so. Thank you for the way you have somehow managed to find a balance of planning services that are well thought out and intentional, yet without being a show. Thank you for letting me babysit your kids when they were young - I love your kids, especially that Kevie. Thank you for singing with Kevie at my wedding. That was so special. Thank you for being the one leading worship at Mosaic the first night that I brought Liam to church after he was born. That was special, too.

  I will always be grateful for the role that you played in my spiritual development, and I pray that my children are similarly blessed with devoted and godly leadership as they grow.

Love, 

  Stefanie

 

Thankful 30: Diane McMichaels

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Source

Dear Diane McMichaels,

  You were my Sunday School teacher in 5th and part of 6th grade. I think it was sometime during my 6th grade year that you were diagnosed with breast cancer and then about a year later that you went Home to be with Jesus. My memories of you are a little fuzzy, since the last time I saw you I was only 11 or 12.  Here's what I do remember, though:

You made a little group of 5th and 6th grade girls feel special and loved. 

We made paper angels during the Christmas season one year and I still hang mine in my house every year (if I didn't have babies & limited time, I would have crawled up in the attic and rummaged through the Christmas decoration boxes to find it so I could take a picture to post ... that would have been ridiculous, so the above picture I found will have to suffice). 

Your favorite hymn was "Trust and Obey" and you taught us that following Jesus really boils down to those two principles: trusting that what He says is true, and obeying what He asks us to do. 

In "big church" when we used to sing the song, "I Stand in Awe of You", you would always stand when the song came to the chorus (I don't know if I actually remember you doing this, but our worship pastor, Mickey, has told the story of you leading the congregation in standing many times). 

You used to tell us that when we were seniors in high school you wanted to get all of us girls back together for a sleepover. 

Sometime during the last months of your life, you hosted us for a tea party at your house. Your son and husband helped because you were too sick to do it on your own.

At your funeral, you had them read a poem I had written and dedicated to you. It was about Jesus being our Shepherd.

  That's it. Those seven memories are the only ones I can scrape out of my brain ... I don't even remember what you looked like. However, I think about you all the time. I doubt that a month has gone by in the past 18 years when I haven't thought about one of those seven memories and the way they changed my life. Jesus lived in you and loved us through you, and though I'm sure you were a remarkable woman in many ways, all He needed were your simple acts of kindness and love.

  Your place in my heart is a very deep and tender one. Possibly because of the age I was when I knew you, or possibly because your death was one of the first I experienced. When I was in jr. high and had to write a speech for a class, I wrote it about you ... and I cried when I gave it. When I was a senior in high school and was asked, as part of a group scholarship interview, to tell about someone who had impacted my life, I told about you ... and I cried. Even now, writing this letter, tears have welled up in my eyes several times.

  I so look forward to spending time with you in heaven. I look forward to telling you these things in person, even though I think you already know. I have long thought of you as being a part of the "great cloud of witnesses" (Heb. 12:1) that is looking on as I journey through this earth-bound chapter of life. Thank you for trusting and obeying when you hadn't yet seen Him, and I am so joyful to know that one day I will get to join you in standing in awe of Him, face to face.

Love,

  Stefanie

Thankful 30: Homeschooling

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Dear Homeschooling,

 
  I have to admit that this letter is less exciting to write than one to a person or place. However, since you were the way I was educated from Kindergarten through 12th grade, it seems false to not include you as I consider what has influenced my life. I am also tempted, in this letter, to throw in lots of qualifying statements or explanations regarding how or why my family did things the way we did. But these letters are about how I've been impacted, so I will tuck away that little discomfort I still carry with me (the feeling that says, "what if they think we are some of the 'weird' ones?") and just move on with what this is intended to be.

  Homeschooling, the earliest memory I have of you is that of sitting on the living room floor with my mom, red record player between us, and singing songs about phonics. Another early memory is sitting at the kitchen table with mom, early in the morning before the sun had risen very high, and learning how to have a quiet time. I remember learning how to use a concordance and a Bible dictionary at a very young age, so that I could dig deeper into Scripture on my own. I remember learning to paraphrase verses in my own words and drawing little stick figure pictures to express their main points. A portion of the curriculum we used when I was in grade school taught me that I could learn something about God through just about everything: the way the eyeball is designed, historical events, the habits of different animals. Those seeds went deep into my little heart and I'm so glad that when I was at that young, impressionable age, my mind was filled with more than just knowledge. Knowledge is good, but Truth is better.

  I'm thankful for the way you gave me margin in life. I think there are more hours in a day when you are home-schooled: you gain back the time that would normally be spent in a car or bus going to and from school and sometimes the same amount of work can take considerably less time since you go at your own pace. Creativity and deep thought both require margin - they do not flourish in an environment of hurry and stress. I'm thankful the way our lives were structured gave my mind time to incubate ideas.

  I'm thankful for the way you made me okay with being different. I don't remember ever really disliking the way our family did things, but it was hard sometimes that we were doing something a lot of people either didn't understand or made fun of. It was frustrating knowing the stereotypes and feeling like people would pigeonhole me as soon as they knew how I was educated. It forced me to make decisions about how much I was going to let those things bother me. As someone who tends to care too much about what other people think, I am grateful for the lessons I learned in shrugging off comments or my own insecurities and moving on. I think that it also made me more resilient to peer pressure later on, as I was already accustomed to people thinking the way I did things was a little odd.

  I'm also grateful that my parents made different decisions for each of us kids regarding how we would be educated. None of us followed the same path in terms of which years we were homeschooled, in Christian school, or in public school. I love the freedom that makes me feel, as the parent now, to follow the Lord's leading in what is best for each of our children and to change that as necessary. I don't believe that one particular form of education is, across the board, better than all the others; and I really don't know what decisions Josh and I will make for our own children. However, I am thankful for the way you impacted my life, Homeschooling, and I hope we are able to choose a path that is just as positive for our kiddos.

 - Stefanie

 

Thankful 30: My Siblings

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Dear Michael, Abbie, & Zach,

  You were my first loves. Really.

  Michael, you were born when I was five and a half. Being the sibling closest in age to me, you were the sibling that I got to be buddies with when we were young. I was so grateful to have a brother, and I remember lots of time spent making hammocks out of sheets on your bunk-beds and playing together with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Legos, or my Barbies and your G.I. Joes. The biggest way you impacted my young life was in how I learned compassion and how to pray through our relationship. I remember being so scared for you when you would get sick and have bad asthma attacks. It was so helpless feeling, and I hurt for you when I knew you were hurting. I just wanted you to be healthy and happy, and I prayed and prayed for you. I've always been so proud of your artistic and musical talent and I think your diligence in applying yourself to become more and more skilled in what you do is amazing.

  Abbie. My sister! You were born when I was almost nine, and you were such a little cutie! Sometimes I wish we had been closer in age, so that your childhood years didn't coincide with my busy high school and college years, when I was rarely home. However, I don't feel like the age gap has hurt our sister relationship one bit. Once you were a teenager it seemed that the gap started narrowing, and it has continued to over the past decade. I love and respect you so much. Your passion for the Lord and for ministry challenges me. I love the similarities between us: music tastes (well, ever since you moved out of your Jonas Bros. phase), movies & shows, books, love for creating, etc. I also love the ways God has made us different, especially the way you are so much more uninhibited than I am and can get people really excited about whatever you are enthusiastic about. I know that quality has been SUCH a gift to so many younger girls, as you have encouraged them in their relationships with the Lord. Oh, and I also really appreciate your fashion sense - I doubt that I'll ever outgrow needing your help in that area!

  Zach, sometimes I wonder if I just seem like a super old lady to you :) I was 12 when you were born ... let's not even think about how 10 years from now I'll be turning 40 and you won't even be 30 yet. Bummer. When I think of your impact on me when you were little, I just remember what an encouragement you were to me. My high school years weren't the easiest, since we had moved to K.C. However, when I had really tough or lonely days I knew I could count on an adorable little toddler to be really excited to see me and give me hugs. I remember feeling sorry for other kids who didn't have young siblings to love on them. Now that you are pretty much a man (is it okay if I wait to say you're a man until you turn 18 in November?), I so admire your earnestness in your relationship with God and your desire to learn and grow in Him more. I'm really looking forward to seeing how God uses the gifts He's given you as you move into the next phase of your life after you graduate next year.

  Thank you all for being wonderful siblings, and for loving my kids so well. Liam absolutely adores his Mike, Zach, and Aunt Abbie; and I know Cora will as well. I pray for and look forward to many decades of raising families and, hopefully one day, all being in the same stage of life together!

  I love you!

  Love,
     Stefanie

Thankful 30: Loving Choices

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Source

Dear Loving Choices,

 Or should I say, Crisis Pregnancy Center ... that's what you were called during the years you made the greatest impact on my life. You were sort of like my first sibling. You were the first thing, other than myself, that I really remember my parents devoting their time, energy, and resources to. I remember the feet of the couples who met in our living room to pray about what they could do to save babies who were being aborted and to help the mamas who felt they had no other options. I remember playing on the floor during these meetings, either next to the couches or by the dining room table, when papers were spread out and financial matters were discussed.

  I remember the receptionist's desk when the center first opened, and that there were always Dum Dum pops I could have. I remember playing with the little models that were used to demonstrate the sizes and developments of unborn babies of different ages and really liking the tiny door that opened up between the bathroom and the room where the pregnancy tests were run on the urine samples. I remember seeing tears in my dad's eyes on sanctity of life Sundays and I remember looking down the road at all the people holding signs when we would participate in the Walk for Life. I remember sitting in the backseat of our station wagon when my mom would drive women to doctor's appointments.

  Loving Choices, you were a window that exposed my young heart to pain and loneliness and the darkness of sin. You were the vehicle through which my parents demonstrated true religion and showed me that the faith they were teaching me about wasn't just about lip service. Then, when my brother was born and my mom took a less active role with you so she could be who she needed to be to us, you were the way she taught me that there are seasons in life ... and that the one involving raising young children often does not include heavy involvement in other endeavors.

  Thank you, Loving Choices, for the valuable ministry you have provided in our community for the past 25 years. I love hosting a table at your banquet every year, and getting to invite friends to come and learn more about what you do. Thank you for loving babies and moms and dads and families. Thank you for the way God used you to teach my young heart and mind so much.

 - Stefanie

Thankful 30: Dad

During the 30 days leading up to my 30th birthday, I am posting a letter a day expressing thankfulness for someone or something that has played a major role in shaping the first 30 years of my life.

Dear Dad,

  As I've tried to sort through the differences in what I learned from you and mom, and how the ways you each taught me affected me as I was growing up, the best analogy I can come up with is that of a house. I think that when people look at me, they might see a lot of mom: my interests, the way I communicate, etc. I think that her training nurtured my heart and graced the interior and exterior with color and warmth. When I think of the role you have played, terms like "foundation", "structure", and "stability" come to mind. What is a house without a foundation? On what do you place the paint and the decor if there are no walls? How is the heart nurtured and taught to bloom if it is not first protected and sheltered by a reliable structure?

  I credit so much of anything I've accomplished to you, Dad, because of the confidence you instilled in me. You encouraged me to try to find answers to my own questions, gave me the freedom to try to figure things out on my own, taught me to use tools and to measure twice and cut once. You were just the right balance of being protective and teaching me to stand up for myself. While I did always feel cherished and special to you, the way you encouraged me to work at things made me believe I was capable of doing things I may not have done otherwise.

  Thank you for showing that you value the Kingdom in the way that you live. When you have been tender-hearted toward unborn babies and in worship, when you have given generously and sacrificially, and when you have treated those who work for you with respect and humility; you have shown me what it looks like to store up treasure in heaven and to keep my eyes on things above, not on earthly things. I often think back to when I was young and you loved the songs, "Find Us Faithful" by Steve Green and "Thank You" by Ray Boltz. Those two songs formed part of the lens through which I saw you: I knew you wanted to leave a legacy of faithfulness and that giving to the Lord was important to you. I have never doubted your faithfulness to mom, our family, or the Lord; and since I have always grown up with that type of security, I know I still can't even comprehend its value.

   Thank you for reading the Bible to us every night, and for praying for us and singing "I Come to the Garden Alone" before bed. Thank you for taking me to baseball games and the roller skating rink when I was little. Thank you for encouraging me to have jobs in high school and for making me sit down to look at my own finances in college, even though it stressed me out. Thank you for being gracious when I ran into things while driving your cars. Thank you for valuing the summers I spent working at camp, or interning at the church, or doing mission work overseas, even though I wasn't making much (if any) money. Thank you for the family tree you made Josh and I for our wedding, showing the generations of decades of committed marriage that we are carrying on - it was one of my very favorite gifts. Thank you for being a great Grandad to my babies and for already teaching Liam more about baseball than I know.

I love you Dad!

Love,
  Stef